Okay here we go.

Before you start laughing at me or don’t understand or just give me bitch-u-cray eyes, my photography teacher and her evil spirit slaughtered my excitement for our 3 class photography period. Like she chopped up my images and then swirled it inside hell and then vomited it out to me in a pool of anger. I was at this point for submission where I was just tired and all the insinuations of Ophelia and other rubbish were floating in my mind, I was having trouble with enjoying this, so imo, not the best work I’ve done. My classmates seemed to like it, though I also have trouble believing that too as I have witnessed a lot of giving out comments for the sake of it stuff. I was looking more for my teacher to help me because better or the best with my photography, even if it was just a little but she only pointed out things that like, ‘this is out of focus by 1mm’ without explaining where it was or why she thought so, and did it make something lesser of the image? I didn’t gain a single bit of positivity or constructive criticism or grow on my skills with this course, much like the year.

To the image, it’s supposed to capture the feeling of being in water. As I had to shoot this as b&w (the store was out of film so I shot it in colour and changed it to b&w) I guess it’s more about the self being sucked into something? I’m not sure. When I got up to describe this, I couldn’t. I freaked out so much my palms were filled with sweat and I wanted to vomit and I couldn’t look at anyone either.

Okay, enough back story. My congregated grade for this class was a DN (surprise?)

You know your life is getting sad when you spend your night freehanding a shitty sugar skull relapsing into the same obsession you had a whole year ago (but this time no-one is making passive aggressive facebook statuses about me).

and now I see the ophelia bullshit I don’t like this anymore because I like the feeling of being in water and how it makes me calm and like I can clear my mind

but holy hell

oh well it’s work in progress

Work in progress/ possibility

We’re scanning negatives tomorrow. My teacher is going to flip because I shot in colour and not the precious non true black & white. (Well I hope she doesn’t) 

I also guess (considering I don’t have to worry about this for class), I can show you all a photo weave I made last month. I cannot remember the models for the life of me, I feel idiotic for not remembering to write it down. I know they were in a Yen issue where it had something to do with commissioning artists with the theme ‘happiness’ or something similar.

Even though this is a pain to do, I still like doing it. It’s really relaxing (the second time around- the first is always stressful).

And everything is poison… and everything is shit.

last one for tonight because my scanner hates me.

my teacher broke me, I hate everything I took photos of (not ally because she’s awesome)

Work in progress

I have never been so pleased, straight off the bat, with my images before. Maybe because photography has become such a novelty and this is the first time in a year I’ve gotten to express myself in something I know how to do. I love how the satin robe reflects the patterns of the water. 

Obviously it’s not the best quality at the moment- I scanned in a print, but I’m looking forward to facing my teacher and talking about this tomorrow. Bring on the h8.

It’s empty.